bedroom-sparkFirst things first, you gotta strike the match in the morning; this will lead to the big KABOOM that night. For those of you who get my drift, you can definitely relate to the fact that this type of preparation is a form of intimacy, flirtation, and foreplay. Because as a female, I can only speak to you from a female’s point of view.

I’m going to just go ahead and be honest…this article is for the men. The ones who are wondering why their lady isn’t receptive to their advances, the ones who are wondering how to turn up the heat in the bedroom, and the ones who are aiming to please. If you fall into one or all of these categories, then get you a pen and a piece of paper. So, what are you waiting for?

Are you familiar with The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? If so, then you already have the key to unlocking the magic. If not, then you have some work to do. Do a little research, familiarize yourself with the love language that your significant other speaks and apply it to these helpful hints below…

Hint 1: Start in the morning
You’re probably wondering, what the what? Well gone are the days of the popcorn sessions. It’s time to be grown men about your business. This requires a little finesse. Some of the match striking behaviors are as simple as a gentle kiss on the nape of the neck or a nibble on the ear; those are sure to get the juices flowing and keep the tingle tingling all day. You can also do any thing that corresponds with your significant other’s love language. For example, if Words of Affirmation is the language of choice, then start the morning off by filling her ears with 1 or 2 affirmations that will make her blush and appreciate the fact that you think she matters.

Hint 2: Fan the flame
Just as you would have to continue to add logs to the fire on a cold winter night, the same concept rings true when it comes to fanning the flame that will be created from your bedroom spark. Throughout the day, send messages to engage with your mate. This will let them know that they are on your mind. Leave love notes or special messages in places that your significant other frequent such as a laptop bag, vanity mirror or the front seat of their car. Take some extra time to let them know they are prioritized.

Hint 3: Retire together
Retiring together is a biggie, especially once you both have completed a long day’s work. You must make it a point to do your share in order to move the events of the evening along. Don’t be a part of the problem, be a part of the solution. Are you the partner or are you just another one of the kids? It is critically important that you take the initiative to perform as well at home as you do at work. In actuality, you may even want to pick up the pace a little more at home than you do at work, because home is what takes care of you, and home will always be there for you. As I have stated before in the Relationship Rating article, “Make the investments in things today that will matter for a lifetime.”

Hint 4: Focus on QUALITY, not QUANTITY
It is not about the number of times you engage in sexual contact with your significant other; it’s definitely about the level of quality that occurs with each encounter. Don’t be so focused on counting the number of times you “DO IT” or how often you “GET YOU SOME” each week. Be more focused on the preparation that was put into it. Make the next experience the most memorable; stay in the moment. After all, how do you really want to be remembered?
I know! I know! It’s A LOT! Question: is that what you tell your boss at work? Or do you seek out resources, ask questions, and get the job done. The truth of the matter is, it is a lot of work. So is any investment. This type of effort and intimacy initiation separates the boys from the men. Look at each day as new opportunity to ignite the flame for a brand new start with your bedroom spark.

I’m signing off until next time.