ratingIf you had to rate your relationship on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being the highest, what would the rating be?

Many factors will tip the scale of relationship ratings. Some of those factors include, but are not limited to:

  1. One’s ability to pay attention to detail
  2. Consistency
  3. The bedroom “SPARK”
  4. Quality time, and
  5. Balanced weight distribution

Now for some of you, I know that these factors may not fall in this exact order, but you get my drift.  Whatever floats your boat and doesn’t sink the ship is just fine with me.

One’s Ability to Pay Attention to Detail 

Some may say one’s ability to pay attention to detail is irrelevant. I say that your ability to pay attention to detail will get you BLESSED real good #MyMyMy. Paying attention to detail says in more ways than one that I.C.A.R.E. (I Can Always Remember Everything), or at least those things that matter to your significant other. Pay attention; it cost you nothing, but means everything.


In your relationship, do you find yourself being asked multiple times or are you doing the asking multiple times? If you are the petitioned, then shame on you. Does your boss have to ask you more than once? That would be a negative, because if they did then pretty soon you would be jobless. For the petitioner, you have our deepest sympathy. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and adopt the spirit of silence. Not silence in the literal sense, but silence as in stillness, a stance of peace and patience. Don’t excuse the behavior, but understand that Rome was not built in a day, and neither was the inconsistent behavior of your mate and your adaptability of said behavior.

The Bedroom SPARK 

Now everyone is ready to raise glasses here, but half of y’all probably need to set those glasses down. Because the truth of the matter is intimacy and sex are completely different, though they are oft confused. Sex is just that. SEX. However, the textbook definition of intimacy is a close familiarity or friendship. Now we know that some of y’all possess a microwave mentality…hot n’ ready, “Ting” and it’s done. HOWEVER THEREFORE COMMA intimacy is developed, nurtured and cultivated through and over time.

Quality Time 

And speaking of time, set some aside nkay? There are 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, 7 days in a week, and 52 weeks in a year. Sounds like a lot huh? It’s not. So, if you don’t know by now, people make time for what they WANT to make time for. It’s a matter of priority. Oh, and let’s parenthetically insert that if you think you can spend quality time in the thick of unresolved issues, THINK AGAIN. It is important to address issues as they arise…put’em to bed. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. Sorry, I digressed. Now where was I….oh yeah, TIME! Quality time should be tamper proof. It should be prioritized and set aside. You should hype up that special time so much that your partner is like a kid on Christmas morning. Excited and over the moon. One last thing that will put the “Q” in quality and surely get the Do Not Disturb sign hung, the red light on, and the cellphone powered down is the “C” word. Let me help you out; it’s COMPROMISE. Consider the preferences of your mate when making these plans. For example, take turns arranging date nights. Even if it’s an indoor picnic on the family room floor, you better throw a candle between those plates of Lo Mein.

Balanced Weight Distribution 

This is an area of opportunity for several individuals. People tend to struggle with not tipping the scales while juggling the throws of everyday life. Life can be demanding.  Work, family, friends, etc. But no matter how busy it gets, we are all required to pull our weight at home. Doesn’t she know how stressful my job is? Doesn’t he know I work too? And cook, and clean, and manage the house…yep you know you’ve said it before. We all have, and if you haven’t then keep right on living. The key hangs in the balance…literally. Be willing to lend a helping hand. Your attitude on the matter speaks volumes, and a spirit of unwillingness will come across loud like a bullhorn. Your mate knows the difference, and their reaction to your action will be equally as unwilling. Moving right along, don’t be frivolous in your spending. Plan for the rendezvous. Let the amount of fun that you plan be comparable to the amount of coins that you have set aside. So, in other words, don’t spend what you don’t have. Make your moves make “cents.” This will pay off in the long run and set those pockets up for financial success. It’s called “Ballin’ on a budget.” Next on the list is activities. Occasionally someone in the equations may overdo it with their extracurricular activities. If you are the guilty party, then here’s a word from the wise; select an extracurricular activity based on your available time remaining that does not interrupt, inhibit, or impede your household flow or responsibilities. Last, but certainly not least, don’t allow your work to consume you. No one on their deathbed ever wishes that they had worked just one more 8 hour day. Make the investments in things today that will matter for a lifetime.

I’m signing off until next time.